How To Use Your Wife’s Computer To Be A Heroic Husband

When I was a kid, my father was expected to fix everything that went wrong with our car. It must have been stressful to have to fix everything, but my father was quite capable.

Our hero.

Unfortunately, I rarely get to be a hero in my marriage. For one thing, today’s cars are designed so that they cannot be repaired by anyone but the dealers and their computers. Also, my wonderful wife can probably change a flat faster than I can.

Usually, I have to settle for catching an ugly beetle that is loudly circling a lamp.

For better or worse, every generation faces its own challenges. For today’s husbands, these challenges are our opportunities to be heroic for our wives. A particularly daunting opportunity available for today’s husband must surely be fixing his wife’s PC.

I am the “sort of person” that uses a Mac, which I think means that I am the sort of person that expects to be able to get things done when using a computer. I am confident that a PC user will be surprised to learn that this is even possible, but I will say it again, when you turn on a Mac, you do not have to wait half an hour to start working.

(I recently watched Bill Gates discuss the inefficiency of governments, America’s education system, and the medical world. I wonder if all of these systems are using Windows.)

My wife’s PC is a lemon amongst lemons.

But I persevered.

Day 1:

Logging in to the operating system. Updates for many programs — all of which helpfully “pop up” to distract me. I also tried to clean up the files, though this didn’t go so well.

“What is this?”

“How should I know?”

“May I delete it?”


If this back and forth sounds familiar, keep your cool. Remember that you are trying to be a hero.

Eventually, I was ready to shut down the PC, during which time the Windows Updates would be installed.

I went to bed.

Day 2.

The installation process actually switched itself off mid-shutdown. When I returned to the PC, I had to instruct the computer to continue installing the updates, then wait, then wait for the PC to restart, then wait for the configuration of updates. Then I finally got into the operating system and faced a series of reminders about life, the universe, and everything but what I actually wanted to do. Also, virus scans.

But, my wife’s PC is slightly less dysfunctional than it was before I arrived.



2 Responses to “How To Use Your Wife’s Computer To Be A Heroic Husband”

  1. You’re a good man. Windows 7 boots up a lot faster than XP ever did, and I revived a “dead” laptop by wiping the hard drive and installing Ubuntu, which is a version of Linux. Of course, you’re not “the sort of person” who would care about this. ;-)

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