Fly One Time

Trading in my life to move around the world and become a live-in husband was not an easy decision. It meant leaving a lot of things behind and required a belief that my life would be better if I took a chance.

Our situation was unusual because my wife and I lived apart for one year.

Marriage was a pretty easy decision for me.

Moving to live with my wife was not.

In times of doubt, I would listen to “Fly One Time” by Ben Harper. In particular, whenever I would fly to America to visit my wonderful wife, I would listen to this song a lot because I loved living in Hong Kong. “Fly One Time” is a song that, in Ben Harper’s words, is about “stepping out of your life and stepping to it,” and I found that this sentiment was exactly what I needed to hear in times of doubt.

If my life has had a guiding philosophy since I was about 21, this idea of stepping outside of self-imposed constraints would be a big part of it.

For example, I bungee jumped off Macau Tower with three witnesses (and none of them jumped with me). Jumping off of a tower with a rope wrapped around my ankles was an easy decision for me because it meant that I was stepping outside of life and into it at the same time.

Oddly, moving to the land of the free has in some ways led me to live a very constrained life. You can do very little when you wait for your green card, which is why I started writing this blog. Now I’ve been in America long enough to obtain permission to work and study. It’s a return to purpose and active citizenship, and I think it’s fitting that I am building my life again during spring.

Every day offers a little more sunshine, and I feel compelled to do something with it.

But it’s irritating to think that I might be wasting hours. I’m beginning to shed the “live-in husband,” but so far I’ve only managed to become an “underemployed husband.”

I don’t feel like I’ve found my place, and it’s not clear how I can find it.

Usually, I would just move to another country when I feel this way.

So putting my life back together will take more than a snap of the fingers.

Sometimes I feel depressed.

Sometimes I feel frustrated.

Sometimes I feel like I’m coming out of hibernation.

So I’ve begun listening to “Fly One Time” again.


2 Responses to “Fly One Time”

  1. Libby Doe #6T9 (Fox Cityz Foxz) Says:

    Hmm. I always thought it was exclusively women who felt that need to reinvent themselves frequently. I love that this lifestyle has lead you to your blog. I find it entertaining to see the world from a man’s perspective, particularly a married man with worldly knowledge who can actually write in an entertaining fashion.

    I feel like I’m in a similar position, searching for my next path and destination. Normally, several times each week, though recently, I am not finding words or inspiration. So, I’ve taken up reading more, to hopefully inspire my creative juices, and running… because I just needed something new. Still doesn’t feel quite right yet…

    I can’t wait to follow along as you find your next inspiration and dedicate yourself to it.

    And, any reason to listen to Ben is a good one.

    • You might try out Haruki Murakami’s memoir “What I Talk About When I Talk About Running.” He talks about running, writing, and quite a bit else actually.

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