Burglary, Doggie Defenders, and Cowardly Cats

It’s difficult to forget how many violent and well-armed Americans there are when the police come around at midnight to ask whether you heard any gunshots in the area. Admittedly, I slept through the cops’ visit, but my wife was more than willing to wake me up afterward.

Sadly, since the fuzz dropped by, there have been several occasions where my wife has woken me up in the middle of the night, apparently in the mistaken belief that I am capable of defending her from burglars.

Thank goodness for the animals: two dogs and no fewer than four cats.

Now, when my wife wakes me up, I just mumble “let the dogs handle it.”

In my defense, the dogs do love to bark — they bark at people, squirrels, blue jays — so if the dogs aren’t barking, we’re probably safe.

But something happened that made me feel a little uncomfortable recently.

I was reading in the recliner with Nia (who I admit is a cat, not a dog) when a beetle buzzed and descended from the window. I’d always assumed that cats would eat insects, but Nia freaked out. So much so that she fell off the recliner — backwards — into a bag on the floor, from which she escaped so that she could run to the door where she whined to be let out.

It wasn’t very impressive.

So if my wife is wrong to think I can defend us from armed robbers, and if Nia can’t be counted on to take on beetles… I wonder whether I’m wrong in thinking the dogs can be counted on to take on armed robbers.

Perhaps it’s time to buy a bat…


8 Responses to “Burglary, Doggie Defenders, and Cowardly Cats”

  1. I had a similar type “get me thinking” episode over New Years… Long story, involving a hotel room for the holiday and waking to a presumed prostitute being roughed up by her client… (and this was in a very nice part of town, sigh…) In Wisconsin I would think nothing of going out and offering to handle it with my cell phone and a call to the police. In Saginaw, MI, I was pretty sure calling the cops could get me shot from both sides. What to do? Wake my husband. Apparently, he couldn’t fix it from inside the hotel room either, and that gun threat made it too scary to leave the room. So… I was just relieved that she ran and got away before I had to make a decision on how to step in. I’m pretty sure it’s worked into the vows that the husbands are supposed to take care of such things. Let me know what you come up with!

    • Unfortunately, that’s not the first story I’ve heard about violence in MI. I’m glad to hear that no one was permanently hurt.

      As for my situation, I’m not sure what to do. Maybe I’ll try to move to Wisconsin?

    • That’s a bad situation. Something similar happened to me once on a business trip, also in a “nice” hotel. Anything you do in that kind of situation is wrong.

  2. Yep, Michigan, Flint and Detroit all make the top 5 list year after year in violent crimes per capita… so it wasn’t a shock in that regard, unfortunately.

    As for living in Wisconsin… I can assure you people are only likely to break into your home (or car) to close your windows if a storm’s coming, so it has that going for it:)

    • Sorry, Saginaw, Flint and Detroit. Michigan in general, I suppose…

      • I don’t think you’re to blame for what’s happening there, but I do have a friend that reads this blog that once lived in Michigan, so I’m sure he’ll appreciate your sympathy.

        As for Wisconsin, I also grew up in the sort of town where no one locks their doors. How far away that seems now.

        • The idea of an alarm system popped into my head. Never had one myself while living in Michigan, but I was never as worried about being robbed while there. Let’s not throw liveinhusband into a paranoid panic here.
          Sidenote: never stay at the Day’s Inn in downtown Detroit.

          • Actually, we do have an alarm system, but I can’t help wondering what I would do after it has been tripped. Something tells me that the noise of an alarm system is not going to stop someone from taking the Wii.

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