Bon Iver, Complacency, and the Toilet Seat

Listening to Bon Iver makes me worry about my marriage.

One thing that I worry about is complacency. What if my wonderful wife will start to take me for granted?

I know a lot of experts talk about honesty in marriage, but sometimes I prefer to take a more subversive approach. So my strategy for combating complacency in marriage is to usually do my best to be a great husband.

Every now and then, I try to be a real pain in the neck.

Here’s an example of how I’ve applied this strategy.

Normally, I am quite devout in my effort to keep the toilet seat down.

But every now and then, I leave the seat up.

Diabolical husbands can try this at home without supervision, but please keep this in mind:

Studies show that wives are more likely to fall into a toilet in the middle of the night. If your wife falls into a toilet, you may find your marriage flushed down the drain. So apply this strategy when your wife is alert — like just after she has had a cup of coffee.

If everything goes according to plan, your wife should complain briefly about your leaving the toilet seat up.

Apologize immediately and return to model husband behavior.

In theory, your wife will notice and appreciate that you have recently become a better husband.

Good luck.


2 Responses to “Bon Iver, Complacency, and the Toilet Seat”

  1. Classical conditioning? In a marriage? Using a toilet seat? Just asking.

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