A Selfish Spouse in the Season of Spending

My wife tells me that I’m a selfish person. I think she’s right. It comes through most strongly as we approach the holiday season.

I’ve been making a list of presents for people I know on one of our extra “thank you” cards left over from our wedding reception. I have one column for my Little Wife and one column for her Selfish Spouse.

Guess which column is longer.

So here are some gifts that you can give to your husband.

The problem with giving your husband presents is that by the time he’s been steadily employed for three years, he probably has everything he wants.

  • Nintendo Wii? Check.
  • Intelligent phone? Check.
  • Gym membership? Check.
  • Bob Dylan albums and merchandise? Check.

I’ve recently read on Dilbert creator Scott Adams’ blog that good gifts tend to be things that people would like to have but would never buy for themselves. Like a Lego Millennium Falcon, a Jedi house coat, or tickets to a really cool show or concert.

There are also things that your husband might want to have but you’ve forbidden him from buying, like plants. Honestly, why can’t I buy plants?* A gift certificate to a steakhouse would also be cool.

There are also nice gesture presents. A Flash or a Superman T-Shirt — especially with this card “you are my superhero” would be cool. Careful: you cannot write “you are my superhero in bed” if you give your husband a “Flash” t-shirt, but if he’s a runner, then Flash is perfect.

Some people push “experiential” gifts. My wife took me to a medieval arena for my birthday. Say what you will, it was an experience. Other cool experiences that I would like? Bungee jumping. Sky diving. Maybe an entry to a 10K race, but a marathon is too much.

And when it comes to more expensive gifts? How about the Oxford English Dictionary — the whole shebang. This leather satchel is also pretty cool. Coats are a good option too.

In the meantime, what are you thinking about buying your significant other?

*Answer: I can’t have a plant because the cats will eat it.

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6 Responses to “A Selfish Spouse in the Season of Spending”

  1. I google this idea every year… best advice I’ve got so far!!! Thanks!

  2. Thanks Mel! I tried to give some links to other lists that impressed me too. You’ll have to let me know what you end up giving.
    Ryan

  3. If you have ideas for your wife, let me know. I’ll get to you with ideas too.

  4. At the moment, I’m thinking mostly about massage coupons as well as a certificate to her favorite restaurant. Every time we pass by it, she says how much she likes it, but we’ve never gone there. Presumably because it’s so expensive…

    Her birthday and Christmas are like seven days apart.
    Ryan

  5. Ha, I just talk my older son in to adding something to his wish list that I like to play with as well.

    • Nicely done. Reminds me of an Anthony Jeselnik joke.

      All I wanted was an X-Box, beginning and end of list. She got me a picture of us on our first date. Which was fun. Because I got her an X Box.

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