White Shirts, Tricky Creatures, and Clash of the Titans

It took a lot of work, but I like to think I was developing a vague awareness of style before I married my wonderful wife. I even had some white shirts. And black socks.

Unfortunately, now that I am a live-in husband, my primary fashion concern is removing cat hair from white shirts and black socks.

My wife, in her infinite wisdom, managed to accumulate no fewer than four cats (from three different continents) before we married.

Cats are irritating for a variety of reasons, but when it comes to clothing, the worst thing about cats is their shedding.

Endless shedding.

As a balding blogger, I might be expected to have more patience for shedding.

I don’t.

I can’t think of anything that looks worse on a white shirt than a coat of black cat hair, unless it’s a splash white cat hair on a black sweater. And of course we have a white cat that likes to sit on black sweaters and a black cat that seeks out white shirts.

I don’t ask my wife for many things, I think. However, when I moved in, I did ask that we not allow the cats into the office (where my clothes are neatly hung) or the bedroom (where my wife’s heap of clothing decomposes).

My cunning wife kindly agreed to this humble request.

Here’s the trait that unites my wife and her cats, though.

They’re all tricky, tricky creatures.

And I think they’re working together.

Our oldest cat, Nia, has begun sneaking into the office. This very clever feline is quiet and sleeps constantly. It’s relaxing to see Nia sleep, suggesting that she has telepathic powers. And she falls dead asleep upon breaking into office. When this happens, my wife invariably says “oh Nia’s so old. Just let her sleep there.”

Being a kind and humane fellow, I feel sorry for our elderly and possibly telepathic cat. So I let her sleep in the office.

My wife is really proud of me. She smiles at me as if to say that I’m a good husband with an astute fashion sense.

Smiling, she says that I’m starting to like the cats.

Smiling, she says that she wants to let another cat in the office.

Smiling, she suggests that we could let the oldest cat sleep in the bedroom.

Last spring, my wife mandated that I watch Clash of the Titans. The best thing I can say about it is that it’s the best film I’ve ever seen that features a flying horse.

However, I suspect that I’d appreciate it more if I viewed the film as an allegory for these tricky creatures I live with.

“One day, somebody’s going to have to make a stand. One day, somebody’s going to have to say enough.”

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2 Responses to “White Shirts, Tricky Creatures, and Clash of the Titans”

  1. I think your life’s a lot more hilarious now that you’re married. If NBC sees this post, you’ll have a sitcom by the end of the year.

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