On Marriage and Strong Female Characters

Sometimes we have to stand our ground. We have to be tough, even if it means taking a hit and getting back up.

This can mean following our muse or our instinct, even if it means we end up looking like an idiot.

I need to remember this because my wife is a pretty confident person.

If she were in a science fiction/ fantasy novel, the author would definitely be lauded for including “strong female characters.”

I’m pretty sure the founding principles upon which my wife interacts with people are these:

I did it, and it’s right.

I think it, so it’s true.

I said it, and you heard me.

It can be pretty difficult for me to get a word in edgewise.

Now, everyone has their own favorite strong female characters. It might be Captain Janeway, Agent Scully, or Hermione Granger.

But there’s another important part of science fiction / fantasy, which is learning to stand up for yourself. Harry Potter stands up to Draco Malfoy, Frodo and his friends stand up to Saruman (cut from the film), and where would the galaxy be if Mario didn’t stand up to Bowser?

Lately, I’ve been looking for models on how to deal with strong female characters.

There aren’t many.

Cyclops and Jean Grey? Give me a break. Jean Grey establishes a psychic connection with Cyclops. Whipped.

William Gibson’s Neuromancer isn’t much better. Case is almost lucky to survive meeting Stepping Razor Molly Millions.

Picard is single and Kirk strikes me as the sort of guy who could get married many, many times.

When in doubt, go with Star Wars.


Anakin kills Padme.

Let’s try the original trilogy.

Here our model seems to be Han Solo and Princess Leia. Han establishes what appears to be a stable and reasonably equal relationship with strong female character Princess Leia by mocking her strength and defying her attempts to dismiss his affection for her. He also has a pretty impressive blaster and vehicle. Who hasn’t heard of the Millennium Falcon?

And he wears a snazzy vest.

I’m beginning to doubt this model as well.

I’d better focus on being true to myself for the time being.

Who are your marriage heroes?


4 Responses to “On Marriage and Strong Female Characters”

  1. That’s why there’s only one return, and it’s of the Jedi, not the King.

    Speaking of “tough”. . .

  2. You may just have to take it.

    You may just blow up a few times now and then.

    You may try and explain in your very clear and concise way how what she’s doing bothers you, and that if you’re going to have a partnership, she’s gotta treat her partner a little better. After all, as my mom says, “you’re on the same team” and no one wants to hear his teammate say his ideas suck.

    Also, try and see if you can bring it up in a funny way, some way that gets her to laugh about it, but think too.

    Or there’s the biblical approach of “piling coals on someone’s head” which essentially means killing them with niceness, so they eventually realize what they’re doing is wrong. That takes extra strength of character, a near saint-like disposition, and a lot of patience. However, it’s worth a thought.

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