Posited Dimensions of Jealousy, Neal Stephenson, and Balding

Always helpful, my wife has informed me that I’m a jealous person.

I don’t think it is unusual to feel jealous of others.

When I see people that can easily do things that I find difficult, I feel jealous. Everyone has those moments. Especially me.

Take string theory.

I don’t get it.

Not only do I not understand string theory, I know that there are other people that do. They can theoretically understand something that I can’t practically imagine myself understanding.*

So I am jealous of them.

That I don’t understand all of these hidden dimensions is hardly surprising given that I’m an English major.

Like many people, I resort of inappropriate attacks to overcome feelings of inadequacy.

Like this:

“People that understand the invisible dimensions posited by string theory can’t communicate well enough to explain it.”

I realize that this is problematic for an English major to say.

*cough* Postmodernism! *cough*

All coughing aside, consider Neal Stephenson. In addition to being a brilliant writer, he also understands code breaking, programming, the future and the past… He probably invented string theory. So he can write for millions of fans — and he can understand things that I find impossible to consider.

What a jerk?

That would be an understandable response.

But a jealous one.

My jealousy could have turned me against Neal Stephenson. It could have ruined my reading of Stephenson’s novels. And considering how long they are, that would be terrible.

Thank goodness for my wonderful wife.

She said something to me a while ago that really changed the way I view the world.

She tapped the back of my head and said:

“You’ve lost a lot of hair lately.”

When my wife says something like this, it’s tough not to think of her as a cruel, insensitive, destructive force in my life. I’m sure she has her reasons for telling me what’s going on back there.

Always look for the silver lining.

Here it is.

I now view the world in a completely new way.

If you click on this link, I’m confident that you’ll see why I think Neal Stephenson is awesome.

Why do we get married?


Thank you for helping me, Sweet Heart.

*I’m not sure that I experimentally understand string theory. But can I imagine that there’s another universe where I can imagine understanding string theory in a theoretical way?


2 Responses to “Posited Dimensions of Jealousy, Neal Stephenson, and Balding”

  1. “All coughing aside . . .” Classic moment. You know I love the po-mo jokes.

    I know you’ve tried to get me to read Stephenson before, and I was hesitant. But then I clicked on the link. Off to the library, then.

    I think my favorite reason was #9. But on #86, since when are Kirk and Picard actors? They’re ship captains.

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